Things to Avoid When Going Through a Divorce

Divorce is certainly more common than anyone would like. And while circumstances vary from couple to couple, most would agree that getting a divorce is anything but easy. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse would like to make it to the other side with respect, dignity, and integrity, try practicing these guidelines.

Avoid these things when going through a divorce

While the current statistic indicates that divorce rates are the lowest they’ve been since 1970, they are still fairly common. In fact, according to recent research, the United States clocks in with a divorce rate of 2.7 per 1000 people. So, when going through a divorce, you’ll want to avoid…

Bad-mouthing your ex to kids

This is understandably difficult. You’re in the midst of a painful and emotionally charged experience. It’s also possible you feel betrayed and wrong. Your opinion of your spouse has changed. But do your best to keep your negative thoughts and feelings away from your children. Bad-mouthing your ex to the children is bad for you, your ex-spouse but most especially, your children. 

It’s likely that your kids are already feeling confused and scared. They may be resistant to the change. You’ll want to avoid making it worse than it already is for them by dragging them into your complicated feelings.

Taking things too personally

In fact, you should treat your divorce like a business transaction. Sound a bit impersonal? Good! 

Divorces tend to be very emotionally charged. And while it’s tough to avoid those emotions, allowing them to dictate how your divorce proceeds can lead to further complications. By treating the divorce like a business transaction, you’re more likely to keep the feelings out of it. Understandably, things are going to feel personal. But if you can remind yourself to keep the business mindset, your divorce will ultimately go a lot smoother.

Venting on social media

In fact, maybe stay off social media altogether. We’ve shared before how to make sure your social media posts don’t ruin your case. You might not realize this, but your social media posts can be used as evidence against you. Yes, even if you delete the posts.

It’s tempting to air your grievances online. You might be feeling desperate for the emotional release. Perhaps consider writing in a journal or speaking with a therapist instead.

Depositing money into joint accounts

This might be one of the first things you stopped doing when your world flipped upside down. But in case old habits die hard, go ahead and stop all deposits into your joint accounts. In fact, go ahead and separate your accounts the best you can the moment you recognize that a divorce is likely in your future. 

Jumping into a new relationship

The only relationship you should be jumping into right away is one with yourself. Take some time to rediscover who you are and what is important to you. Practicing self care and healing is crucial in order to establish and maintain healthy relationships moving forward.